For many of us, at one point in time or another, we have all had to work with/report to a passive aggressive boss or supervisor. I can recall one supervisor in particular: He would never address a sensitive work issue with me in person. Instead he would either leave the office and call me a few minutes later to address an issue over the phone, have a subordinate do it for him, or simply make the issue known to other coworkers who would then tell me what they heard. He also had a tendency to send passive aggressive emails and end them with “: )”, “I am sure you have a good reason why you did not do this for me days ago”, or something similar to try and cushion the criticism/critiques. Needless to say, this supervisor’s unwillingness to engage with me in person and discuss important matters led to a sense of frustration and lowered morale for myself and other coworkers that experienced similar conduct from our supervisor.
As we start the new year, I think it is appropriate to post a note on how employees can learn to better work with passive aggressive bosses and supervisors. Perhaps for those bosses and supervisors that are reading this post, they too could take a few notes on how to curb some of their passive aggressive tendencies to make the workplace more productive for all involved.
While this resource is not the definitive guide to the topic and not intended to serve as legal advice (those experiencing a similar situation should consult their HR representative and/or employment law attorney for guidance), it provides a framework that can be referred to when needed.
Do Not Jump Into the Trenches & Mimic the Passive Aggressive Behavior
Let us start at the beginning. While it may be tempting to mimic your boss or supervisor, in regard to their passive aggressive tendencies, that does not do much in the long run. As some have noted, mirroring this behavior only serves to validate the conduct. For instance, think about little kids that repeat everything their parents say...”Go to your room, Kevin.” “Go to your room, Kevin.” or “Say goodnight, Buzz.” “Say goodnight, Buzz.” In the long run, this gets all parties nowhere and only further creates a divide.
Do Not Take the Passive Aggressive Conduct Personally
Easier said than done, right? I know when a boss has left me on read or does not respond to my emails all day (even though he is emailing me on other matters), I have gotten a bit upset and wondered what I was doing wrong. However, it might actually be your boss or supervisor is under pressure or a deadline that you are not aware of. If the passive aggressive conduct is a routine pattern, it is important to remember that this is a problem, if you will, of your boss or supervisor, not you.
Attempt to Open A Line of Communication
As much as you might want to send an email back to your boss or supervisor with a similar “: )” or make an off hand comment to them about their inability to address conflict in person, that likely only serves to further antagonize the situation. Instead, seek to create a dialogue and ask your boss or supervisor to addresss the issue with you in person. For instance, with the supervisor that would routinely leave the office and then call me to talk about a sensitive matter, I started to tell him on the phone, “I understand this is an important issue that you want to talk with me about. While I am happy to discuss the matter with you over the phone right now, can we also schedule a time to talk about this in person when you are back in the office?” A good boss or supervisor will recognize the employee’s initiative to discuss the matter openly and should take the time to talk in person when schedules align...preferably sooner rather than later.
Elevate the Matter to A Higher Up
Granted, if your boss or supervisor is at the top of the food chain, this is not necessarily an option. However, for those passive aggressive bosses or supervisors that report to a higher up, if the passive aggressive conduct is “severe” (or significantly demoralizing), making it known to a higher up could help alleviate the issue. The last thing a branch manager, regional manager, director, CEO, etc. wants is an office or workplace that is not running efficiently because of a boss or supervisor’s poor conduct (and for the sake of this post, we are going to call the passive aggressive behavior poor conduct) that ultimately negatively impacts the bottom line. Having a higher up step in to address the passive aggressive behavior is one option to help right the ship.
No workplace is perfect. Ultimately, every boss or supervisor is different and handles conflict or sensitive matters in their own unique way. However, when that conduct takes the form of passive aggressive behavior that creates a divide among employees, the workplace morale and work product can suffer. For those employees that have a passive aggressive boss or supervisor, I would suggest giving some of the above mentioned tips a try. For those employers that recognize their conduct might fall within the scope of this passive aggressive behavior, I would suggest attempting to meet your employees half way and seeing what can be done to curb this type of conduct. Fair warning though, the cream of the crop in your workforce might not tolerate this passive aggressive conduct over the long haul. A sure way to create worker turnover and low morale among your remaining employees is to repeatedly engage in this passive aggressive conduct without a recognition of the potentially negative results it will produce.
Now excuse me while I go check my email and see if my current boss emailed me a link to this article and asks me if I wrote anything interesting lately...with a “: )” for good measure.
Do Not Jump Into the Trenches & Mimic the Passive Aggressive Behavior
Let us start at the beginning. While it may be tempting to mimic your boss or supervisor, in regard to their passive aggressive tendencies, that does not do much in the long run. As some have noted, mirroring this behavior only serves to validate the conduct. For instance, think about little kids that repeat everything their parents say...”Go to your room, Kevin.” “Go to your room, Kevin.” or “Say goodnight, Buzz.” “Say goodnight, Buzz.” In the long run, this gets all parties nowhere and only further creates a divide.
Do Not Take the Passive Aggressive Conduct Personally
Easier said than done, right? I know when a boss has left me on read or does not respond to my emails all day (even though he is emailing me on other matters), I have gotten a bit upset and wondered what I was doing wrong. However, it might actually be your boss or supervisor is under pressure or a deadline that you are not aware of. If the passive aggressive conduct is a routine pattern, it is important to remember that this is a problem, if you will, of your boss or supervisor, not you.
Attempt to Open A Line of Communication
As much as you might want to send an email back to your boss or supervisor with a similar “: )” or make an off hand comment to them about their inability to address conflict in person, that likely only serves to further antagonize the situation. Instead, seek to create a dialogue and ask your boss or supervisor to addresss the issue with you in person. For instance, with the supervisor that would routinely leave the office and then call me to talk about a sensitive matter, I started to tell him on the phone, “I understand this is an important issue that you want to talk with me about. While I am happy to discuss the matter with you over the phone right now, can we also schedule a time to talk about this in person when you are back in the office?” A good boss or supervisor will recognize the employee’s initiative to discuss the matter openly and should take the time to talk in person when schedules align...preferably sooner rather than later.
Elevate the Matter to A Higher Up
Granted, if your boss or supervisor is at the top of the food chain, this is not necessarily an option. However, for those passive aggressive bosses or supervisors that report to a higher up, if the passive aggressive conduct is “severe” (or significantly demoralizing), making it known to a higher up could help alleviate the issue. The last thing a branch manager, regional manager, director, CEO, etc. wants is an office or workplace that is not running efficiently because of a boss or supervisor’s poor conduct (and for the sake of this post, we are going to call the passive aggressive behavior poor conduct) that ultimately negatively impacts the bottom line. Having a higher up step in to address the passive aggressive behavior is one option to help right the ship.
No workplace is perfect. Ultimately, every boss or supervisor is different and handles conflict or sensitive matters in their own unique way. However, when that conduct takes the form of passive aggressive behavior that creates a divide among employees, the workplace morale and work product can suffer. For those employees that have a passive aggressive boss or supervisor, I would suggest giving some of the above mentioned tips a try. For those employers that recognize their conduct might fall within the scope of this passive aggressive behavior, I would suggest attempting to meet your employees half way and seeing what can be done to curb this type of conduct. Fair warning though, the cream of the crop in your workforce might not tolerate this passive aggressive conduct over the long haul. A sure way to create worker turnover and low morale among your remaining employees is to repeatedly engage in this passive aggressive conduct without a recognition of the potentially negative results it will produce.
Now excuse me while I go check my email and see if my current boss emailed me a link to this article and asks me if I wrote anything interesting lately...with a “: )” for good measure.
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