Skip to main content

Employee Has to Deal With A Passive Aggressive Boss/Supervisor...Now What?


For many of us, at one point in time or another, we have all had to work with/report to a passive aggressive boss or supervisor.  I can recall one supervisor in particular:  He would never address a sensitive work issue with me in person.  Instead he would either leave the office and call me a few minutes later to address an issue over the phone, have a subordinate do it for him, or simply make the issue known to other coworkers who would then tell me what they heard.  He also had a tendency to send passive aggressive emails and end them with “: )”, “I am sure you have a good reason why you did not do this for me days ago”, or something similar to try and cushion the criticism/critiques.  Needless to say, this supervisor’s unwillingness to engage with me in person and discuss important matters led to a sense of frustration and lowered morale for myself and other coworkers that experienced similar conduct from our supervisor.  

As we start the new year, I think it is appropriate to post a note on how employees can learn to better work with passive aggressive bosses and supervisors.  Perhaps for those bosses and supervisors that are reading this post, they too could take a few notes on how to curb some of their passive aggressive tendencies to make the workplace more productive for all involved.

While this resource is not the definitive guide to the topic and not intended to serve as legal advice (those experiencing a similar situation should consult their HR representative and/or employment law attorney for guidance), it provides a framework that can be referred to when needed.


Do Not Jump Into the Trenches & Mimic the Passive Aggressive Behavior

Let us start at the beginning.  While it may be tempting to mimic your boss or supervisor, in regard to their passive aggressive tendencies, that does not do much in the long run.  As some have noted, mirroring this behavior only serves to validate the conduct.  For instance, think about little kids that repeat everything their parents say...”Go to your room, Kevin.” “Go to your room, Kevin.” or “Say goodnight, Buzz.” “Say goodnight, Buzz.”  In the long run, this gets all parties nowhere and only further creates a divide.

Do Not Take the Passive Aggressive Conduct Personally

Easier said than done, right?  I know when a boss has left me on read or does not respond to my emails all day (even though he is emailing me on other matters), I have gotten a bit upset and wondered what I was doing wrong.  However, it might actually be your boss or supervisor is under pressure or a deadline that you are not aware of.  If the passive aggressive conduct is a routine pattern, it is important to remember that this is a problem, if you will, of your boss or supervisor, not you.

Attempt to Open A Line of Communication

As much as you might want to send an email back to your boss or supervisor with a similar “: )” or make an off hand comment to them about their inability to address conflict in person, that likely only serves to further antagonize the situation.  Instead, seek to create a dialogue and ask your boss or supervisor to addresss the issue with you in person.  For instance, with the supervisor that would  routinely leave the office and then call me to talk about a sensitive matter, I started to tell him on the phone, “I understand this is an important issue that you want to talk with me about.  While I am happy to discuss the matter with you over the phone right now, can we also schedule a time to talk about this in person when you are back in the office?”  A good boss or supervisor will recognize the employee’s initiative to discuss the matter openly and should take the time to talk in person when schedules align...preferably sooner rather than later.

Elevate the Matter to A Higher Up

Granted, if your boss or supervisor is at the top of the food chain, this is not necessarily an option.  However, for those passive aggressive bosses or supervisors that report to a higher up, if the passive aggressive conduct is “severe” (or significantly demoralizing), making it known to a higher up could  help alleviate the issue.  The last thing a branch manager, regional manager, director, CEO, etc. wants is an office or workplace that is not running efficiently because of a boss or supervisor’s poor conduct (and for the sake of this post, we are going to call the passive aggressive behavior poor conduct) that ultimately negatively impacts the bottom line.  Having a higher up step in to address the passive aggressive behavior is one option to help right the ship.

No workplace is perfect.  Ultimately, every boss or supervisor is different and handles conflict or sensitive matters in their own unique way.  However, when that conduct takes the form of passive aggressive behavior that creates a divide among employees, the workplace morale and work product can suffer.  For those employees that have a passive aggressive boss or supervisor, I would suggest giving some of the above mentioned tips a try.  For those employers that recognize their conduct might fall within the scope of this passive aggressive behavior, I would suggest attempting to meet your employees half way and seeing what can be done to curb this type of conduct.  Fair warning though, the cream of the crop in your workforce might not tolerate this passive aggressive conduct over the long haul.  A sure way to create worker turnover and low morale among your remaining employees is to repeatedly engage in this passive aggressive conduct without a recognition of the potentially negative results it will produce.

Now excuse me while I go check my email and see if my current boss emailed me a link to this article and asks me if I wrote anything interesting lately...with a “: )” for good measure.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

NLRB: Discussion Among Employees About Tip Pooling is Protected Concerted Activity

  This Advice Memorandum from the National Labor Relations Board’s Associate General Counsel, Jayme Sophir, addressed whether employees which discussed and complained about tip pooling at work constituted protected concerted activity. In relevant part, an employer in New York operated a chain of steakhouses.  While tip pooling was in place at these steakhouses, some of the employees objected to it on the grounds that it was not transparent and improperly divided tips among the workers.  Employees were told not to complain or talk to each other about the tip pool and were told that doing so would endanger their jobs.  Despite the employer later attempting to provide some clarity as to how the tips were being divided, rancor still existed among some employees.  At one point, the employees were told by a general manager that some employees that had been talking about the tip pool were “cleared out” and the employer would continue to do so. In the Advice Memorandum, it was noted that emplo

What I’ve Been Reading This Week

A few years ago, I remember when the “Fight for $15” movement was taking off around the country.  Lo and behold, it appears that a $15/hour minimum wage is not the stopping point, which should be no surprise.  As the below article notes, New York is aggressively moving to ramp up hourly wage rates even higher.  While all the  below articles are worth a read, I called particular attention to that one. As always, below are a couple article that caught my eye this week. Disney World Workers Reject Latest Contract Offer Late last week, it was announced that workers at Disney World had rejected the most recent contract offer from the company, calling on their employer to do better.  As Brooks Barnes at The New York Times writes, the unions that represent about 32,000 workers at Disney World reported their members resoundingly rejected the 5 year contract offer which would have seen workers receive a 10% raise and retroactive increased back pay.  While Disney’s offer would have increased pa

Utah Non-Compete Bill Falters in House

Last month, a non-compete bill sponsored by Representative Brian Greene (Republican from Pleasant Grove) & up for vote in the Utah House failed to make it through the Legislature.  The bill sought to ban enforcement of non-competes if they came after a worker was already employed, given no compensation (such as a bonus or promotion) for signing the non-compete, and laid off within six months.  However, by a 22 - 49 vote, the bill was resoundingly defeated after some business groups lobbied to kill the non-compete bill.  One group in particular, The Free Enterprise Utah coalition, argued that the Utah State Legislature should hold off on any changes to non compete laws in the state until a survey about non competes was done among Utah businesses.  Representative Greene had countered this claim and argued that a survey was not needed to show that the current non compete laws in the states allowed many businesses, including some small high tech companies in the state, to per